Black Coffee

I remember being younger and watching the way my dad drank coffee; Black. Some mornings I would be up early enough to get some coffee myself but I would never dare to try drinking it the way that he did. I recognized the kind of man he is by the way he drinks his coffee. (I know it sounds silly.) My dad's a very strong person, especially in my eyes I learned that from watching him drink his morning coffee. The bitter taste of the black coffee doesn't even phase him, didn't phase him, and probably never will.
I also remember thinking to myself, way back then, that I would never be able to drink coffee the same way that he does. He was this big strong man and I was just a puny little shrimp kid. I needed cream and sugar. Lots of sugar.
As I write this, I'm on my second giant mug of black coffee.

Lets say that the coffee is our relationship with God. Depending on how tired you are (in life, through trials) your amount of coffee, and the way you drink it can change. The less trials you have, the less tired you are and you have your coffee with cream and sugar. Your faith exists but it isn't always the way you stay awake at work.
Now, there are trials. The sleep goes, and staying awake becomes the hardest thing you do everyday. If you choose correctly, you choose to strengthen your relationship with God. A.k.a. Black coffee.

It may seem like somewhat of a stretch, but that's what I am thinking of as I sit here drinking my black coffee, journaling and reading my bible.

I like it this way.

Sore Thumb

You have probably all heard the saying "stick out like a sore thumb." If not, then now you have. Since I was younger I always thought there was something weird about me. Maybe not weird, but "different."
First, I had HUGE glasses growing up. So, I was classified as pretty nerdy. Then I had really poofy hair to go along with the glasses, and I became nerdy and geeky. After that came the truth that I was a HOMESCHOOLER - yeah, so my nerdy/geeky level got bumped up about ten notches, and then I was weird also. Next came the fact that I was a dancer; you wouldn't think that weird now, but I got teased relentlessly for it when I was younger.
All this goes to say part of me has always felt like "I do not belong here."
When I was eight years old I wanted to be a missionary and a dancer. Here I am, well on my way to those two things. How did I know it would happen? I was eight...

This whole "feeling out of place thing" has been around forever. I always thought it was because of the people who picked on me in one place, or the next. Now I realize it as a completely different situation.
I don't want any of what is here, and there is nothing wrong with what's here, but it doesn't belong to me.
I don't want a cookie cutter house, I don't want a Saturday afternoon routine, and I don't want to be stuck in one place right now.

I fell in love with a sanctuary lit by 60 watt light bulbs, with an acoustic guitar, and an audience for a choir. So I asked myself in church today "what am I doing here?"
This place has these standards of what is materialistically appropriate, yet we speak about wanting to "go back to nature."
Aren't the stars more beautiful than a disco ball? Isn't a sunrise more beautiful than the coffee mug in your hand at noon? All of these things were given to us, freely and we put it away even for church service.

This is the "weird" stuff that I thought was just me being weird. I'm an adventurer, explorer.. world changer if you dare to call it that. And, I do not belong in the middle of a concrete man-made world. I'm blessed to have acknowledged my 'weirdness' as what it really is now, instead of 50 years from now. I can't wait to really live it out; where ever it shall be!

Dievs ir labs! Ja? ;)

Laughter

So I know any of my friends anywhere will understand the humor in the story. Mostly because these people know what it's like when I really start laughing.
Yesterday I wanted an adventure. I thought, if I could have them in Latvia with a little searching I could have them here too. So that's what I did... I found an adventure.

That adventure was time with my little brother Kenneth...
We went to eat at a Mexican food restaurant here in town; if you've ever eaten with my brother you will know that he harasses the poor server relentlessly. (It's a good thing he's funny) After our humorous dining I needed to run to the store to buy some supplies for art. I'm there on the floor of this office depot and giggling at some stupid joke my brother made. When he walks over all nonchalant and farts right in my face.

Typical. As stupid as it sounds I missed this part of my relationships. Those stupid little things my brothers and I do are how we tell each other "hey, I think I love you and I missed you while you were gone." I know.... strange.

So there I am, rolling on the floor of this store, and we find... DUN DUN DUN! A call bell.



My twirpy little brother and I then proceeded to drive around town ringing our bells... We don't know why, and it was probably really stupid. But it doesn't matter. Because that's how we build our relationship with each other.
How do you build yours?
Is it stupid? Is it serious? Is it light? Joyful? Heavy?

How you build your relationships, affects the relationship. Wether or not you choose to build a relationship with someone.
Like I heard in church this Sunday, relationships affect you, and you affect others in your relationship.
So be joyful, wise, encouraging and sincere.
God will work through you.

Larry, Ron and Derril

On the flight from London to Houston I had the privilege of meeting the three stooges. These guys were in there 60's-brothers-and absolutely hilarious. I had made a joke with them before boarding the plane and then got to sit across the isle from them on the flight, which means 10 hours of bonding time. The gentlemen had been walking around Europe with each other, going to jazz bars in Paris and all those fun things. They asked what I had been doing there and we got to share stories of where we were and what we did.
Towards the beginning of the flight the chair in front of Derril was broken, and would lean all the way back for the whole flight. There was only one chair to exchange with and it was right in the middle... gross! These three guys were pretty big, so I could tell he was going to be REALLY uncomfortable if he stayed that way the whole flight. So, I offered him my seat and all was well in the world of traveling. haha! Ron told the flight attendant to put me in first class... I wouldn't have minded going... but it was just a seat change.

At the end of the flight Derril said thank you, and then told me one of the nicest thing a stranger has ever said to me. He said "You are going to be one of those people who brings peace with you where ever you go. You are a world changer, I can just see it. God bless you."

I really didn't know what to say; what an incredibly lovely thing to say to a stranger. So, Thank you very VERY much Larry, Ron and Derril for a wonderful trip! You guys were great.


Upon entering into the U.S. I was given extra paper work and asked for my visa. A little confusing, but I ended up clearing up that I was actually an American citizen. I am not sure why they didn't think so...
None of our luggage made it, but that's fine really. It isn't like I don't have clothes to wear. We walked out of baggage claim and up to my mother, it was SO nice to see her! =) It was weird to think that it's been 8 weeks! The very first thing I do is buy a caramel macchiato from Starbucks, and then it was off for mexican food! The restaurant was SO loud, the food was great- but we were ready to go home.

I slept almost all of the car ride home, and then passed out once I got here-after I hugged everyone at least once, of course.

Now, I'm trying to get used to my cell-phone again, getting used to seeing so many cars may take a while. I really am enjoying home though. It's nice to be back.

The traveling continues...

So, since I kept all of my Americans up to date on what I was doing while I was in Latvia, I figured I could do the same for my favorite Latvians also. =)

I am currently sitting in Copenhagen airport. The plan leaving Latvia was the hardest part... I had been doing okay, you know? I was happy to be going home, sad to be leaving. That kind of thing.. but MAN. The plane leaving the ground nearly killed me.
I wanted to just yell for the pilot to stop and let me out, weird.
Anyways, I already can't wait for next Summer. Don't get me wrong Americans, I am really excited to be going to school! I will have my new apartment, new friendship opportunities, but my heart has a little chunk stolen from it every time I come and go from Latvia... it is just the way it is.


I am enjoying watching all the people here in the airport, Tony is sitting here reading through an Italian newspaper, the guards are walking by acting all awesome, and I'm sitting in front of a perfume store... it smells nice. But not like flowers-- bummer.

Well, I'm off I suppose. About to go and check gates. I sure hope that I'm in the right place!
Here is to the travels! Lets sing a new verse to this song, shall we?

We'll Make an Adventure of it!

When I came to Latvia... I was completely different. And I do mean completely.

My intention for the trip was never for a "self-help" Summer. Actually, quite the opposite. I was considering not coming because of the state of emotional destruction my heart was in. I wasn't sure that I would be able to tell people about God's love if I couldn't even say that I REALLY believed in it. I remember this one conversation I had with a friend before coming. She told me "Don't even begin to believe that lie! You were made to go there. Your heart was made to tell about love. It is just... who you are." For some reason or another, I listened to her. Of all the ignoring I have done in my lifetime this was a moment I slipped up. I listened. I can not say "thank you" enough to that person... I mean, really.

My whole time here has been like home for my spirit. Since the second I got here I knew that I was supposed to be here, that I am supposed to be here later. It's just something I know...

God has been able to use my story, my life, (good and bad) for things I never thought possible. That's why He's God, and He is so much better at it than I was, back when I was trying to be.

My last full day in Cesis was today, and how incredible it was! We made an adventure of it. I went up in the church tower, higher than is allowed, but who will ever know? (...anyone who reads this.) After that Marta took me to this old graveyard, and yes I suppose your average person would be like "greeaaat" but this really was so enjoyable! Such a beautiful place.
After that we walked down to the river and onto this really cool nature path. We drank from the spring, climbed up a cliff and into a cave, walked in water that was probably freezing temp. (not even kidding) and enjoyed the view from our little island.
We met up with everyone and then just got to relax and enjoy each other's company. It was the best way for me to say "I love you" to everyone. By just sitting with them and laughing and talking about things that don't matter. We've got the silly pictures to prove it!

All this goes to say that I am so much more "Amanda" now. I plan to keep it this way, I like who I am when I'm trusting God instead of myself. I do more daring things, I say more daring things, and I love like there is no tomorrow. What better way to live than living in His presence?
Weeks ago I wanted to be able to say "My chains are gone, I've been set free" and mean it... and here it is.

My chains are GONE, and I have been set free.
I mean every word of that.

The Stranger Stopped the Bus..

I have always been taught that the way you treat people, wether or not you can understand them, was very important.
Several weeks ago on the Baltic Sea trip with the church group the bus driver (from the bus the group had rented) was one of the people that I applied this everyday upbringing with. When we dined I made sure he had enough food, etc... just kind of my serving personality. Coming from the family that I do it is so natural for me to make sure everyone at the table has food and drink and is comfortable.
Despite the huge language barrier, and little time spent together, this bus driver and I became friends. I appreciated his work for us, and he appreciated our group.. (I feel)
anywhoooo
I was going to Riga on friday, and was about to miss my bus, due to incorrect reading and anxious spacey-ness. I was walking out of the station and ran into the driver from our trip, I stopped him and asked how he was doing, (little bit of Latvian that I know.) He introduced me to his friend from work and I showed him my ticket to ask where it was I was supposed to be. He pointed to the bus that warming up to leave. I understood a few words from him "RUN! FAST!" I start running after the bus as it starts to drive off.

I stop running and consider just buying another ticket for a different time, easy to fix, no big deal. Then I look over and I see the almost stranger running after the bus for me. Now, usually the average nice person that you've only met once would just tell you when the next bus was and make sure you got to the right place; nope. Not this guy, not this stranger.
The bus stopped in the middle of the road and I climbed on. I couldn't really say "thank you" enough. It was so touching to me.

I suppose the story sounds kind of simple, but in so many different ways it was confirmation that I'm always looked out for. I was happy that it was that bus driver, from that one trip, that I took that one week. And I'm glad that it was that one meal, that I made sure he wasn't in the least bit hungry, and that for some reason or another we have this understanding that we're friends. Though neither of us know the other's name.

sometimes God just knows when you need to know you're looked out for, and that was that moment.
Needless to say, it was a great bus ride.